best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
