I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I supernannyed him into submission
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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