That's intense
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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