My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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