So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
