i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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