honey bunches of taint.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
