pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
