I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
