Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I need water and some morals
Randomize
