I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize