You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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