i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
