Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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