I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
