Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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