he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
