He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
