Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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