Just cropdusted the office
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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