I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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