you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
