before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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