How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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