im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
