I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
