Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I enjoy the company of your penis
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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