Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
