chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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