ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
