Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
