I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
