You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
