Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
