Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize