She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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