I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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