How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
