haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
