cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
