is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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