Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
