My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize