Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
