STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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