Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
