Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
