he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
