He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dicks are not precious.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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