man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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