She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
