Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
