i just google imaged poop.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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