So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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