Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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