Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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