I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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