What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize