is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
