hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
