Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My dick has a subreddit
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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