There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
